The Life Chair
Read below what each part of your life chair means and why each one is important to the whole.
Therapy
Therapy is “aeration for the soggy soul.” Therapy helps train your brain to think differently; to help you see the world differently; to get out of your own head and be accountable for your own responses and behavior. When you are drowning, meds are the life preserver but therapy teaches you how to swim.
Sleep
Sleep is critical and will be a part of every discussion we have. When we are not sleeping, we are a “live wire” during the day - everything negative that happens “sparks” us. Our resilience and ability to respond to stressful situations dramatically plummets.
“Sleep is not like a bank. We can’t accumulate a debt and hope to pay if off after payday….The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.”
— Dr. Matthew Walker
Alcohol, snacking, and cannabis before bed blocks REM sleep.
Those who sleep 6 hours or less have:
Poorer physical and mental performance
Lower testosterone levels
Higher injuries and motor vehicle accidents
Higher rates of obesity (leptin is suppressed, grehlin is increased)
Increased risk of cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and cancer (due to chronic inflammation and decreased immune response), even after as little as one week of 6 hours of sleep or less.
Medication
What meds CAN do:
Balance chemicals in your brain so you can think clearly. They are the “window wipers” in your car - helping you see where you are going.
Get you out of the deep well of depression, feel less hopeless, and help you find agency in your life.
Take you out of the “fight, flight, or freeze” mode and give you a bit more resilience to handle stress.
What meds CAN’T do:
They won’t drive the car for you (overcome your will or agency).
Prevent you from veering off into a ditch (making poor life decisions).
Guarantee that you arrive safely at a destination (they won’t get you that promotion, that elusive relationship, etc.)
Give you meaning and purpose in your life.
Get you out of a toxic job or toxic relationship.
Reverse your past mistakes.
Give you a new personality.
Make you “happy” (happiness is a temporary state).
Diet & Exercise
Inflammatory diets high in processed foods and sugars puts you more at risk for depression. Are we going to make a fitness plan and set goals to run marathons in our sessions or start the latest fad diet? No. But we may talk about the brain/body connections and even small ways to incorporate healthy habits into your life. No amount of medication I can give you can overcome Taco Bell. Taco Bell always wins in the end (no pun intended).
Meaning/Purpose
The seat of the chair, what holds the whole chair together, is meaning and purpose. We can have all the other parts of the chair in place, but if we don’t have something to wake up for, that “props us up,” and gives us stability, we’re just walking around aimlessly carrying four chair legs. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” Not sure what brings you meaning and purpose? Let’s talk about it!
Healthy Relationships
Healthy relationships are the backbone of a chair. We lean back and get support from those around us. If those relationships are not providing support, or those relationships are absent, we end up never being able to “lean back” in our lives. We are designed to live in relationship to others, to be part of a community, whether a spiritual community, or one or two close friends.
“Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
— Albert Camus